Blah Blah
by BritishGallagherGirl
Summary: Random scenes with random stuff and people on crack. Sorry Rosalie. WARNING: Only read if finished all Twilight books including Breaking Dawn. I'm working on chapter 38 now but I've only published up to chapter 37...
1. David Best?

Hey Guys. This is my Blah Blah story. Because basically it is blah.

Lol x Hope U Lyk It x

Polly-Night-Cullen :D

* * *

Bella, **Edward,** _Alice,_ **_Rosalie_**

* * *

Hey People Of Earth!

Or rather, people of the weather channel… Because not everybody on the Earth watches the weather channel, although they should. Because I mean, what if it was going to rain. Then the people who don't watch the weather channel wouldn't bring their umbrellas to whatever unimportant, boring, event they are attending. Unless it's David Best! Ohhhh! He's so sexy…

**Bella? What are you doing in there?**

Huh? Wha-

**Are you drooling venom?**

No… No. I'm not.

**And who is, David Best?**

_OMJ! How can you NOT know David Best?_

**OMJ? What is that?**

_OMJ! How can you NOT know what OMJ is!_

Actually Alice what does OMJ mean?

_Oh hey Bella! I didn't see you there!_

I was standing right infr-

_I'm sorry. What was that?_

**Never mind! What is OMJ?**

_It means…! Oh My Jasper. Because well Jasper is so yummy…_

OME ALICE! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT! YOU STOLE MY IDEA! YOU STOLE IT! I DID OH MY EDWARD FIRST! EVERYONEE KNOWS THAT THAT WAS- Edward? What? What are you laughing at?

**You said that that… Hehe**

Stop being so immature.

**Ohmygosh! How could say that Bella?! That is like so totally out. Out I tell you! It's like, WTF! WTF man! Bro! Brover! Blad!**

_Edward have you been reading Carlisle's 'Language Of The Twenty-First Century' book again?_

**Maybe… YOU'RE GETTING OFF THE POINT! Bella! Who is David Best?**

OME! He is like-

_**OME! Edward doesn't know who David Best is?!**_

_OMJ! Why are you siding with Bella?! Oh My Edward is so old._

Hey!

_**Oh My Edward? It's Oh My Emmett? What are you on?**_

**CRACK!**

EDWARD ANTHONY MASON! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ROSIE LIKE THAT!

_**Rosie? WTF?! I'm only known as the following. -Ahem-  
**__**Rosalie  
**__**Rose  
**__**A Rose  
**__**A Beauty  
**__**Beautiful  
**__**Sexy  
**__**Queen Rosalie  
**__**Queen Ro-**_

**Queen Rosalie?**

_**Well actually, either Queen Rosalie, Queen Rose or, Queen-Miss-Beauty-Who-Is-Way-Way-Way-Way-Way-Way-Way**_

_Rosalie! The point?_

_**Oh. Sorry. Way-Way-Way-Prettier-Than-You-No-Matter-How-Much-Exfoliating-You-Do.**_

Right…

_Okay then… Well. I'm going._

_**Where?**_

_Dunno. Somewhere that isn't… here…_

_**Ooo! I'll come with!**_

Well. I think you better be going to.

**Wait!**

What?

**What were you doing in there?**

Well… You know how the other day when I said 'let's go hunting' and you replied 'nah no way bruv', oh you know the day when you were bragging about reading a whole 4 chapters of Carlisle's language our century book thingy…

**Yes I do recall. Oh! I mean… Yeah man I do **_**recall**_**. Blad.**

Edward I'm not a man. And I am insulted you would assume so. Especially considering you have seen me naked.

**Sorry.**

As you should be. So anyway… We went hunting and then we had a race back here and you… won…

**Ha ha!**

Excuse me?

**Nothing! It's just you were so confident you were going to be triumphant and yet you… weren't…**

Edward I'm not stupid. I know you're fighting a smile. And you're losing because I can tell.

**What? Like you were losing in the race! HA!**

Edward!

**Sorry love. Uh, I mean. Soz bruv.**

Edward.

**Wazzup?**

I'm female.

**Oh. Sorry.**

ANYWAY! So when we got back I said randomly out of bordem 'You know, the weather outside has slight cold but fortunately it greets us with a small but warm breeze' and Em came up to me and said 'What? Training to be a weather reporter?' And so that got me thinking. Maybe I should be a weather reporter. And Alice could be my secret weapon. She could tell me what the weather is gunna be.

**So you're attempt cheating.**

Nooooo… ANYWAY! I was practicing for when I'm a famous TV star. Before YOU interrupted me.

**You mean, weather forecaster.**

TV STAR!

**Weather forecaster.**

TV STAR!

**Weather forecaster.**

TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR! TV STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Alright! TV star…**


	2. Secret Weapon

Hey Guys!

This is like a really short one, but I have to put it in so it'll work with the next two...  
Please reveiw on the story! It'll REALLY help and I'll REALLY apprechiate it. (Sorry, I dunno how to spell apprechiate... Lol x)  
Hope You Lyks x

Polly-Night-Cullen x

* * *

Alice is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine and Bella comes to irritate the world... (in this case, just Alice)

Bella, _Alice_

* * *

Alice?

_Yeah?_

Will you be my secret weap-

_Nope._

Oh.


	3. I'm Jasper

Hey Guys and Gurls x

I'd like to thank VampWolfGirl for being my first reviewer. Or reviewee. Or reporter. Or summin like that...  
THANKS VAMPWOLFGIRL! LUV U LOTS! EVEN THOUGH I'VE NEVER MET U BEFORE! LUV U!  
(sorry if I'm scaring you a bit... I get that a lot...)

Polly-Night-Cullen

* * *

Bella, Jasper

* * *

Jasper?

Yeah?

I'm sad.

I know.

Jasper?

Yeah?

-

-

Bella?

Yeah?

-sigh- Why are you so sad? And, almost, annoyed…

How come you don't know?

Bella.

Yeah?

I'm Jasper. Not Edward.

Oh.

-

-

And?

I don't read minds.

Oh.

[Jasper starts to walk away]

Jasper?

-big big sigh- Yes Bella?

Sorry.

I know.


	4. Expensive Collectables

Hey People!

I still havn't gotten many reveiws so PLEASE PLEASE, well, reveiw.  
Thanks!

Polly-Night-Cullen

* * *

Bella, **Edward, ****Emmett,** _Alice,_ _Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie together_

* * *

Edward?

**Bella, Yes?**

I'm sad.

**I know.**

Wh-? What? But you're Edward not Jasper! Jasper just gave this like hour long lecture of how he wasn't you he was him and now, what? Your pretending to be him which can't be 'cause I just spoke to him. And your Edward! I can see you right there infront of me! See look! Edward! Edward! See! I told you you were Edward! I told you –GASP– Jasper told everyone didn't he…

**I'm sorry love.**

**Yeah. Me and Rose found out when we found him skipping merrily up and down the stairs singing with joy, 'Bella, Bella, little vamp. How I wonder why she's sad…' to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle.**

**Em go away. You're making her feel even worse. Don't worry love, I'm sure he didn't mean it…**

**HA! Didn't you hear me? Skipping merrily! Singing with joy! Of-course he meant it! Edward, I would of thought you would know tha–**

**GO!**

**Alright! Don't get your frilly knickers in a twist!**

**They are NOT frilly! They- They've just got a lot of lace.**

**FRILLY PANTS! FRILLY PANTS! EDWARD WEARS FRILLY PANTS!**

**Shut up! I don't want anyone to hear that I-**

_OMJ! Edward wears frilly pants!_

**No!**

_Hey Jazz! Rose! Edward wears frilly knickers!_

**NO!**

_FRILLY PANTS! FRILLY PANTS! EDWARD WEARS FRILLY PANTS!_

**NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!**

**And on Sundays and Thursdays, he wears PINK BARBIE FRILLY KNICKERS!**

_HAHA! OMJ EDWARD!_

**THEIR EXPENSIVE COLLECTABLES! GO AWAY!**

_You collect frilly knickers! OMJ! Jazz! OMJ!_

**AND THEIR EXPENSIVE! LEAVE ME ALONE!**


	5. Baa Baa

Hello!!!!

I just need to say that I won't be posting for about another 1 week, 2 weeks or so because I'm going on holiday to Switzerland.  
I'd still love for you to reveiw though please! Thanks!

**Polly xxx :D  
**(Polly-Night-Cullen)

* * *

At The Cullen's House... 3  
Bella,** Edward, **_Alice, _Esme, **Emmett, **_**Rose**_

* * *

**Oh Bella!**

Oh hey Edward.

**Sorry, you never got to answer before… Why were you so sad?**

Well. You know I was planning to be a TV star.

**-cough- Weather presenter –cough-**

TV star. Anyway. I asked Alice if she would be my secret weapon…

**What did she say?**

She… She didn't even let me finish my question! She just said 'Nope'! What is that all about?!

**Aww, I'm sorry love.**

I think I'm gunna cry!

**Aww, love. Don't worry. And you know vampires can't cry.**

-sniffle- I know. And that makes me wanna cry even more!

**Shh… There, there. Tell you what! I'll sing to you to make you feel bett-**

NO!

**Huh?**

I mean… No thanks. I don't want to cause you any trouble…

**No no no… It's no trouble at all! Ready? –Ahem-**

NO EDWARD DON'T!

**Baa Baa Black Sheep. Have you any wool?**

NO! IT'S A CRUEL CRUEL WORLD!

**Yes sir! Yes sir! Three bags full!**

THE PAIN NEVER ENDS!

**Bella. Pardon me if I'm wrong but I seem to be getting the impression that you don't exactly… appreciate my singing…**

No no no! Edward it isn't that! You're a wonderful singer! Just wonderful!

**Oh okay. Sorry. I made silly assumptions. Of-course you like my singing! I mean, I'm wonderful! What was I thinking, thinking that you didn't like it?**

Exactly! Of-course I like it.

**Good. I'll start again. –Ahem-  
****Baa Baa Black Sheep! Have you any- Bella? Why are you holding a tissue? Vampires can't cry. And even if we could, why would be crying?**

-sniffle- Ugh!

_Bella! What's wrong?! You're attempting to cry! There, there! Has Edward been singing again? Don't worry…_

**Hey!**

Bella? Bella what's wrong?

_Edward was singing again._

Bella! You poor thing! I'm so sorry you had to go through that!

**Esme!**

Oh I'm sorry Edward. It's just, well…

**Just come out and say it. I'm not scared. I don't care. I mean it's not like it's going to be the end of the worl-**

_You can't sing. You're awful._

**What?! NO! No! I don't believe you!**

**Oh no! Rose! Eddie's singing again!**

_**MAKE HIM STOP EM!**_

**What?! NOOOO! NO! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! WE'RE ALL GOING TO SHRIVELL UP AND BURNT INTO THIN AIR! THE EARTH WILL SUDDENLT EXPLODE INTO TINY PEICES THAT TASTE LIKE CAKE! CAKE! AHHHHH! NOOOOO!**

Edward! Stop being so melodramatic. Not just any cake silly! CHOCOLATE CAKE! YUM YUM YUMMY!

_Bella, you don't even like cake._

Oh yeah? Who says?

_Your're a vampire._

Oh. I see your point.

_Oh, and... JAZZ! EDWARD'S SINGING! DON'T COME DOWN UNTIL WE SAY IT'S SAFE!_

**Guys!**

Yes, everyone. Come on now, we don't want this to be the frilly knickers all over again.

**WHAT?! How did you know about that?! Oh this is so embarrassing!**

Jasper likes to skip up and down the stairs while singing.

**Ohmygosh. Still so embarrassing!**


	6. Edward?

Okayyyy  
NOW I won't be publishing anymore for 1 or 2 weeks.  
I'm actually going Switz tomoz but I thought I wasnt gunna come on my laptop today to publish another chapter, but obviously, as you can see, I did.  
Lol x Enjoy! (This is a really short one. I might publish the next chapter tonight but I doubt it... Sowwyy)

Polly xxx

* * *

Bella, **Edward,** _Renesmee_

* * *

Edward?

**Yes Bella?**

I love you.

**I love you too.**

_Blah! Yuck._


	7. Doctor Carlisle

Okay so I know I said i would doubt I would publish another one today, well, I guess I was wrong...  
Lol x Hope you like it!!!  
Oh, and I'd really like to say a massive thanks to VampWolfGirl for putting a reveiw on almost _every_ chapter! Wow, you must spend your entire life on FanFic. (in a good way not a bad way...)

**Polly-Night-Cullen :) x**

* * *

Carlisle, _Renesmee, _Esme

* * *

_Grandpa Carlisle?_

Yes Renesmee?

_What are you doing?_

Why I'm just doing some research.

_No, I mean before I came in when I was peeking through the window and you were dancing like crazy to 'Doctor Jones' by 'Aqua'. Then I knocked on the door and you rushed to turn the music off and get a random book off the shelf._

Actually, I was NOT dancing 'like crazy' to Doctor Jones.

_Really? Seriously?_

Yes. Really. Because, well, I know this guy who is amazing with tech stuff and I got him to modify the song so that it sings Doctor Carlisle! How cool is that?! Aint your Grandpa Carlisle hip fresh-funky!

_No. He isn't. Anyway, later._

And where may you be going? I promised your parents I would keep an eye on you while they were out hunting.

_I'm just going to go see Jacob. That's all._

Oh no you're not. You're staying here like I promised your parents.

_Okay. What'd they give you old man?_

I'm not that old Renesmee. Besides, they didn't give me anything. I did it out of the love in my heart.

_Mmm Uh._

Okay. They got me the new 'Aqua' album! It includes the 'Barbie Girl Remix'!

_What if I said that you were hip and… 'funky-fresh'?_

Flattering won't get you anywhere, Renesmee. You should know that.

_You are an AWSOME dancer! You know, this is just me personally, but erm… Aqua would be so lucky to have you as a background dancer in her music video. She'd be thrilled._

Be back before your parents are.

_Yes! Bye!_

Hello Renesmee.

_Hey, Grandma Esme. I'm just er… going er… Bye! Love you!_

Carlisle?

What?

Carlisle.

Urm... Dance Party?

Yay!

**[Doctor Carlisle, Doctor Carlisle! Calling Doctor Carlisle! Doctor Carlisle, Doctor Carlisle! Wake Up Now!]**

* * *

Just quickly, if you don't understand the doctor carlisle doctor carlisle bit then just search 'Doctor Jones - Aqua' on YouTube!!! xxx :)

* * *


	8. Darn

Okay really sorry.  
I know I keep saying this is my last one before I go on holiday... No this is my last one... No this is....  
But THIS ONE is... Promise...  
Enjoy!

**Polly-Night-Cullen x**

* * *

**Edward,** _Renesmee,_**Emmett, **Bella

* * *

**Renesmee Cullen?**

_Darn. What?_

**I know where you've been.**

_What?! But I thought Mummy shielded everyone's minds from you!_

**Stop bringing that up. It makes me feel depressed. And yes, she did.**

_How'd you know then?_

**You stink of dog.**

_Darn. Hey! That's an insult!_

**What do you expect? Jacob's a filthy mut.**

_I resent that!_

**Hey guys. Wattup?**

_Hey Em._

**Eww, you smell of dog. Bye guys.**

_WHAT?! Ogmygosh. Ugh!_

OME Renesmee!

_What?_

It's OhMyEdward not OhMyGosh!

_Eww. Edward. Yuck._

**Hey!**

_Sorry Dad._


	9. Chess

I'm back from SWITZ! Whoooo! But I've been missing my FanFiction... So here is the next chapter...  
This is soooooooooo random but I got bored soooooo hope you like it!

**Polly-Night-Cullen**

* * *

Jasper, _Alice, _Esme

* * *

No! Oh you're good at this! But I'll get you!

_Jasper? Who is… That?_

Who?

_That giant dolly on the chair opposite you._

-Gasp-! How dare you! He is not a dolly! His name is Buff-Man. And he'd rather be known as a 'he' rather than a 'that'. He finds it very insulting.

_How would you know?! He's stuffed!_

-Gasp-! If he's so stuffed then how come he's beating me at chess? Someone who's _stuffed_ couldn't beat _me_ at chess! Don't be ridiculous Alice.

_Jasper, Jasper, Jasper…_

Shhhh! He needs to concentrate!

_Riiiiiiight… I still say he's stuffed._

Look! If you can't appreciate Buff-Man than go away.

Hello Alice, Jasper.

-Ahem-

Oh sorry. Hello... Buff-Man. Urm… I have to… leave… Good luck Alice.


	10. Write It Down

If text is surrounded by dashes, it means the text has been written rather than said.

Ex. –Hey People Of FanFic xx–

* * *

Bella, **Edward,** **Emmett,** _Alice,_ _**Carlisle, **_Rosalie

* * *

***sigh* I'm so bored. What? What's this?**

-Me too.-

**What? Why didn't you say so? Why did you have to write it down?**

-Because! I'm bored so I'm writing this. Instead of speaking we have to write it down on this notepad. :)-

**What? Wh- Aww your smiley faces are so cute!**

-NO TALKING I SAID! Oh, I mean… NO TALKING I WROTE!-

**Why? This is so stupid!**

-Is not! It's superbly-duperly fab-tastic!-

**Hey guys. Bella? Why are you attacking that notepad with a pen?**

**Bella is bored so she thinks that writing down- What Bella?**

-Not thinks! Knows.-

**Okayyyy. Bella is bored so she **_**knows**_** that writing down what we want to say is going to be, I quote; Superly-Duperly Fab-tastic.**

**Oh yeah! That does sound superbly-duperly fab-tastic!**

**What? You're kidding?**

-Now now now! Emmett it's your turn to write-

**-Hey! What shall I write?-**

-Anything. It can be so totally random that even you yourself dunno what your on about. Example!!! Hey Em. How big is the gap in between your toes in cm?-

**-Oh! Well, on my right foot it's 9cm and on my left it's 73cm-**

-73cm?! Wow! That's one big gap! Mine are only like, 1cm...-

**-I know right! How coo-**

**Give me that!!! –This is stupid.-**

**-Edward it's not nice to grab-**

-Yeah Eddie. It's not nice.-

**Eddie?**

_Watchya doin?_

**Bella and Emmett are being stupid. They think it would be fun to-**

-Hey Alice! We're writing down what we wanna say rather than saying it aloud! How cool it that?! :D-

_Very! Let me have a go!_

**-Alice! Don't talk! Write!-**

_-Okay Mr. Bossy Boots-_

**Yeah Mr. Bossy Boots! Don't get your frilly knickers in a twist! HA! You have frilly pants! HA!**

_-No Edward. You do.-_

_**Can I see that notepad? Thanks. Edward does what?**_

**-Have frilly knickers. And you can't talk. You have to write it down.-**

_**Sounds like fun!**_

**I don't believe this.**

_**-Don't worry Edward frilly knickers aren't that bad. I mean, it's not like their Barbie or anything-**_

_-Oh but Carlisle, they are-_

_**-Oh. Well, then that's just stupid! (Carlisle laughs hysterically)-**_

**Carlisle. I can't believe you're getting involved in this childish excuse of a game. It's rediculous.**

_**-Now now Edward. Don't get all uptight because I make fun of your frilly knickers.-**_

-Yeah Edward. You're so uptight. Loosen up a bit.-

**-Yeah Eddie. Loosen up a-**

EMMETT! GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP HERE RIGHT NOW!

**-Gotta go guys. COMING ROSE!-**

-Em, you can't shout at her on paper-

**-Oh yeah. (Emmett shouts up nervously to Rosalie)-**

_-Em, that won't work either. Look just go-_

EMMETT!!! DO I HAVE TO COME DOWN AND DRAG YOU UP HERE?!!

-Yeah Emmett. Don't want your lazy ass dragged up the stairs-

**-Ha ha. (Emmett says sarcastically)-**

_-Well he's gone-_

_**-Finally-**_

-Carlisle!-

_**-What? C'mon! Everyone knows that Emmett's a dumb ass-**_

_-True.-_

-And apparently a lazy one too.-

_-Like Edward.-_

-Hey! You have to admit. Edward is pretty smart.-

-_I guess. He's just annoying. And such a loser.-_

**Give me that! Wh- Alice?! I'm not a loser!**

_-So anyway. What's on TV tonight?-_

-Oh I think Scooby Dooby Doo is on.-

_-Cool!-_

_**-Sorry girls. No Scooby tonight. I'm watching 'How to remove someone's liver' on the 'I'm an awesome Doctor' channel.-**_

-Oh well.-

_-Yeah. We could--_

**STOP ACTING LIKE I'M NOT HERE! IT'S UNFAIR, CRUEL AND WRONG! YOU PEOPLE ARE HORRIBLE!**

-Aww Edward I'm sorry-

**NO! I DON'T WANT YOUR NOTES!**

-Edward-

**NO! AND I'LL MAKE IT CLEAR! -You guys are meanies!-**

-Edward! Edward! Edwaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!-

_-Bella. He can't hear you. You writing his name won't make him hear it. And neither will the exclamation mark at the end. Besides he's probably almost-crying in his bedroom like the pussy he is.-_

_**-I guess-**_


	11. Pizza

Hey! Ahh! Chapter 11! Oooooo!  
Hehe. Enjoy.

**Polly-Night-Cullen**

* * *

Bella, **Edward,** _Guest! – All will be revealed_

* * *

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**What?! What?!**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**What Bella?!**

_Look, if ya don't want the pizza, why d'ya order it?_

**Pizza?**

Yup.

**What were you doing ordering pizza?**

It cheesy.

**Yeah, I know it is. But why did you want a pizza?**

_I don't bloody care why she don't want the pizza, but I know what I want. I wanna new car and the only way I'm gunna get it is if I earn it. I tried workin' in Harry's Hairdressers but that didn't work. The guy went home in a purple mohawk. I thought it was cool but the boss didn't…_

I WANNA MOHAWK!

**Lovely Bella. Go back inside.**

NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.

**Fine. Right, how much for the pizza.**

_34 bucks._

**34 for a pizza? That's a bit high for bread covered in sause and cheese.**

Edward, don't forget the pickles and the spotty squid.

**You ordered a pizza with pickles and squid?**

SPOTTY squid Edward!

_I don't care I just want my money._

**Okay-**

Edward. Don't worry, I'll handle it.

[Bella walks over to pizza guy and says in a low voice]

Look, could you er, give it for 75 bucks and a half price ice-skating ticket?

**75! Bella! What are you doi-**

_Enjoy ya pizza!_

[Pizza guy runs away with the money flailing his arms everywhere]

See Edward. I know how to handle these people…

**Bella! You just bought a pizza for 75 dollars! Clearly, you do NOT know how to handle 'these people'! You don't even eat pizza!**

So?

**SO! What are you going to do with it?!**

Why I'm going to force feed it to Emmett of-course.

**Ohhhhhhh!**

Jeez Eddie you're so slow….


	12. Haha

Heyy x

This is what happens nect from the previous one. This one is REALLY short so I'll publish chapter 13 today aswell...

_Polly-Night-Cullen x_

**

* * *

**

**Emmett, Edward**

**

* * *

**

**Hey Bells. Wh- What are you doing?! Get it away! GET IT AWAY!**

**Haha!**

**EWW! THAT WAS DISGUSTING!**


	13. AFWIAAVAILHVM

Ahh! So totally random! :D

Hehe x

* * *

Bella, **Edward, **_Alice_

* * *

Ally-Wally?

**Ally-Wally?**

_Yes Bella, my AFWIAAVAILHVM?_

**AFWIAAVAILHVM?**

Well, I was wondering if yo-

**What does AFWIAAVAILHVM mean?**

_-sigh- My AFWIAAVAILHVM…_

Means…

_My Awsome-Friend-Who-Is-An-Awsome-Vampire-And-I-Love-Her-Very-Much._

Aww! I love you too Ally-Wally! But anyway. As I was saying before Eddie so rudely interrupted me. I was wondering if you could buy me something?

**Okay, who are you and have you done with Bella? Bella would never want Alice to buy her something.**

WHY I'M SECRET AGENT POTATO CHIP COME TO STEAL YOUR HOLA HOOPS!

**What?!?**

_Nu huh! You'll never get them! Cuz I'm Secret Agent Shoe Sale come to drag you around the mall! Haha!_

Nooooo!

_Yesssssssssssss!_

**What are you two on about?**

Secret Agent SS? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

_I think I am Secret Agent PC…_

**Yeah, usually I would know what you two were- Actually just Alice but anyway- what Alice was thinking but nooooo. Bella just HAS to shield EVERYONE'S mind from-**

_ATTACK!_

**Wh-? Ahhhhh! Alice get off! And Bella, let go of my leg! Ahhhh!**


	14. Already Dead

This is really really random but... Ta da! Chapter 14!  
Enjoy x

**Polly-Night-Cullen**

* * *

Bella, Jasper, _**Rosalie**_

* * *

JASPER!

Yeah?

HEY!

Hey…?

HI!

Hi… Yeah sorry what is the point in this conversation?

I WANNA!

Wanna what? And you don't have to shout. I'm right here. And even if I wasn't I'd still be able to hear you.

HA! CHOCOLATE ROCKET!

What? Erm… Bella, may I ask you a personal question?

BLOP! RAWR!

How much caffeine have you had today?

ZIPPY ZAPPY! OOOOOOOOO! I AM A VAMPIRE! YOU ARE A LEPRICORN! I AM A VAMPIRE! YOU ARE A LEPRICORN!

You know what, I'll just take that as a couple of gallons.

_**Ugh! Why is the kitchen covered in empty coke cans?!**_

EDWARD DID IT!

Edward is out hunting.

IT WAS ALL ALICE!

_**Alice is at the mall with Esme.**_

EMME-

He's out hunting with Edward.

CA-

_**And Carlisle is at the hospital today. Everyone's gone. Even Renesmee and Fido the mutt.**_

BU- BU- YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!

_**Bella, you're the only perso-**_

WHERE'S YOUR EVIDENCE?!

Gee? Where oh where? Oh yeah! All the empty cans in the kitchen!

NOOOOO! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

_**You're already dead Bella.**_

NOOOOO! I'M DOOMED!


	15. DIE!

HEY PEOPLE!!!

I was meant to publish this one tomorrow but I just got so bored I posted it today! Whoo!  
Hehe. Bleh. Hehe.

Pollyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Pa la la la Polly! Polly Pocket! Whooo! Polly Pocket! Ooooooo!

* * *

Bella, **Emmett**

* * *

DIE! DIE! DIE!

**Die?**

DIE!

**Why?**

DIE!

**Yeah I get that part. But why?**

Haha! I beat you, you little suckers! Mwah ha ha ha!

**Come again?**

Oh! Hey Em.

**Yeah… Hey Bells… So er… What are you doin?**

Oh, I'm just playing 'Attack Of The Hippy Hippos' on PS3.

**Attack of the what?**

Hippy Hippos! They're purple, dotty hippos. And they wear those hippy necklaces with the peace sign on them.

**Okayyyy… Whyyyy?**

Because they want to rule the world with their peace-spreading, rainbow-sparkling, bad-music-playing evil.

**Riiiiiight…**

Right.

**Well I'm gunna go-**

NO!

**Why not?**

Cause you gotta help me defeat them on multiplayer!

**Bella. I'm not playing Attack Of Th- NO WAY! AWSOME 3D GRAPHICS!**

Yup. And you get to personalise your characters. I'm a green monkey called Linda. You can dress them up too. Linda's wearing a clown nose and designer jeans.

**Cool!**


	16. Fairy Princess Skateboard

This is basically picking on Edward again but oh well... It's fun...

_Polly-Night-Cullen x_

**

* * *

**

**Edward, Emmett, **Bella

**

* * *

**

Hey guys!

**DIE!**

**Die?**

**DIE!**

**Why?**

**DIE!!!**

**Em I'm already dead.**

**EDDIE SHUT UP!**

Yeah Eddie-Poo!

**Okay, Eddie-Poo?**

**SHUT UP! YOU'RE DISTRACTING ME!**

**Distracting you? From what?**

Shhhhh! He's beating the Hippy Hippos! You can't distract him!

**Hippy Hippos?**

Yeah, that's what I said isn't it!

**Yeah… But what are th-**

**SHUT UP FAT BOY!**

**I'm not fat!**

**SHUT UP THEN!**

Please Edward, you need to learn to keep your mouth shut. We're playing 'Attack Of The Hippy Hippos' on PS3, and I showed Em and he-

**Attack of the Hippy Hippos? What is that about?**

**UGH! ED YOU JUST MADE ME LOSE!**

**Sorry, gosh! But what is that game anyway?!**

**ATTACK OF THE HIPPY HIPPOS! You get to personalise your own character. Mine was a orange marshan from Jupiter called Fred. He even had a pink tutu and fairy princess skateboard! And I was doing SO WELL! Until YOU came along!**

**Marshan from Jupiter? Wh-? What? Marshan's are from Mars! Notice how its **_**MARS**_**HAN! If they were from Jupiter it would be something like 'Jupishan' which is just stupid!**

**HEY! Do NOT make fun of Fred!**

**Fred's a stupid name for an alien don't you think?**

**SHUT UP BITCH!**

Okay boys… You can have a go on it later… Just stop fighting…

**I don't even want to have a go on it! It's just a childish game for people with no brilliance and interlec- Ahhh! Emmett get off!**

**TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!**

**NEVER! AND GET OFF MY HEAD!**

**NOT UNTIL YOU TAKE IT BACK!**

**Em, stop covering my eyes! I can't see! I can't see!**

**HAHA!**

Boys!

**GET OFF!**

**NO!**

BOYS!

**What?**

Stop fighting! Emmett get off Edward!

**NO!**

Get off otherwise no Attack Of The Hippy Hippos for a month!

**NO! I'M NOT GETTING OFF UNTIL HE TAKES IT BA- Wait what?! No Hippy Hippos?! No! Please! PLEASE BELLA!**

Get off Edward. There that's better.

**PLEASE! WILL YOU EVER FORGIVE ME! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING!**

Fine. But not until tomorrow. Now up to your room.

**What?!**

**Haha!**

You too mister!

**Wh- ME?!**

Yes you!

**Haha!**

**Bu- Bu- He was the one who jumped on me!**

I don't care. You made fun of Hippy Hippos so go to your room. Both of you. I don't want to see or hear a peep out of either of you until tomorrow morning. Now go.

**But-**

GO!


	17. Where's Emmett?

_Hello! Next chapter... Quite short but oh well...  
Enjoy x_

**Polly-Night-Cullen x**

_

* * *

_

_Alice, **Rosalie**_

_

* * *

_

_**Where's Emmett?**_

_Oh, Bella sent him and Edward up to their rooms because they were fighting with each other._

_**Oh.**_

_You should have been there. It was hilarious. They both walked upstairs all sulky with pouts on their faces. I wish had my camera… -sigh-_

* * *


	18. RAWR!

Hey Guys!

Thanks to... _VampWolfGirl, TeamEMMETT-JAGBdB, ink-stained-sleves and Princess Rosee_  
for reviewing my story xx :) :D Thanks guys luv u lots...

I'm off to the dentist cause I got school tomorrow :(  
Bye!x :D

**Pollyxx**

* * *

Bella, **Edward / Eddie-poo**

* * *

Eddie-poo?

**Yes?**

Can I-

**Nooo.**

Haha, ha. No but seriously. Can I-

**Seriously. Nooo.**

Why not?

**Because you don't even **_**know**_** how to build a chocolate house.**

Bu-

**No.**

Fine then. God!

**-**

**-**

Eddie-poo?

**Nooo.**

EDDIE-POO!

**What?**

Can I get a pet?

**Whyyyy?**

'Cuz.

**Because what?**

Just… 'Cuz.

**Well what pet were you thinking of?**

AN ALLIGATOR! RAWR!

**-sigh- No.**

And why not?! Alligators are cool!

**Yes but we can't keep an alligator.**

How 'bout a tiger then?

**No.**

What 'bout a polar bear? They're cute and cuddwy.

**Yes… Cute and 'cuddwy' and also very very very big.**

So?

**Emmett would try to eat it. And anyways, we can't fit a polar bear through the front door, and Polar Bears need to live in cold, icy environments like Antartica. That's why they have thick fur. To keep them warm. You know, Polar Bears are actually quite interesting. They are**** found throughout the Arctic Circle and adjacent land masses. Due to the absence of human development in its remote habitat, it retains more of its original range than any other ****extant****carnivore****. While they are rare north of 88°, there is evidence that they range all the way across the Arctic, and as far south as ****James Bay**** in ****Canada****. They can occasionally ****drift**** widely with the sea ice, and there have been anecdotal sightings as far south as ****Berlevåg**** on the ****Norwegian**** mainland and… Bella? Where did she go?**


	19. Cucumbums

**

* * *

**

Edward, Emmett

* * *

Back in a few!

**Where are you going?**

**To the grocery store.**

**May I ask why? They don't sell grizzly's Em.**

**I know that! I'm getting some carrots.**

**Why?**

**For Cucumbums.**

**I'm sorry, did you say Cucumbums?**

**Yeah. Duh!**

**Who is that?**

**She! Who is SHE! And she's Bella's rabbit. OBVIOUSLY! How could you NOT know that?!**

**Bella has a pet! I told her she couldn't have one!**

**Oh but Cucumbums is 'sho cutey wooty'!**

**Em. Get a grip. It's a rabbit.**

**GASP! How DARE you! I'm leaving!**

**Yeah sure…**


	20. CONFUSION!

__

**Hey guys... really short... gtg... sister's nagging to get off laptop... BYE!**

Polly x

**

* * *

Rose, **Alice

**

* * *

**

**Alice!**

_Rose?_

_**Rose!**_

_Alice?_

_**Rose!**_

_Ahhh! CONFUSION!_

_**I know. It's sad.**_

_-sniffle-_


	21. Wovewy x

**Hey!!!**

**Next chapter!!! Enjoy!! Night!! xx**

_Polly x :)_

**

* * *

**

**Edward,** Bella

**

* * *

**

**Bella! Can you come hear please?!**

Oh hey Eddie-Weddie-Alphabetti-Spaghetti! How are you my 'wovewy'?

**Eddie-Weddie-Alphabetti-Spaghetti?**

Yesh my wovewy!

**Okayyyy… Anyway. Why did you get a pet rabbit when I SPECIFICLY told you, you couldn't get a pet?!**

Nu uh! Nobody likes liars Eddie.

**IM NOT LYING!**

Yesh you are! You said I couldn't get a alligator, a tiger, or a polar bear. You said NOTHING about a bunny!

**BELLA! I THOUGHT I MADE IT CLEAR YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED A PET!**

Well you didn't! And stop shouting! You're mean! YOU'RE HOWIBLE! HOWIBLE!

_Edward! Stop being so horrible! And stop shouting!_

**Ugh!**

_Stop! Meanie!_

HOWIBLE MEANIE!


	22. That's not so bad

Hey Guys x

I am soooooo bored so I'm posting another chapter. I've got nothing to do and my little sister is searching up popular baby names and she keeps saying stuff like: "In 2005, Lily was the second most popular name in Australia! LILY! THAT'S YOUR NAME!" (I have an older sister called Lily...) UGH! SHE IS SO ANNOYING! She keeps talking like someone is listening... Wait actually, I guess I am kinda listening. She just said "Polly! In 2003, your name was 2078th most popular in Belgium! How cool is that?!" UGH! AND NOW SHE'S SINGING!!! She is seriously getting on my nerves now... But anyway! ENJOY THE CHAPTER!

**_Polly :)_**

**

* * *

**Bella,** Edward**

**

* * *

**

**Bella?**

Yeah? Oh. Edward. What?

**Look, I'm sorry. About before when I shouted. I shouldn't of overeacted. It was unnecessary.**

Yes. Yes it was.

**Do you accept my apology?**

I accept.

**Good. So erm… How's Cucumber?**

Cucumbums.

**Oh. How's Cucumbums?**

Well, actually, I err, kinda forgot to clean out his cage and feed him for a couple of days and err, he kinda, didn't survive?

**You killed a rabbit?!?!**

No! Gosh! You make me sound like a murderer! All I did was forget to feed him! That's not so bad!

**Yes it is! You killed him!**

Eddie stop worrying! Everything's fine. Know why?

**Why?**

I gotta hamster!

**Bella! That doesn't make things better! This is just another animal you'll forget to feed!**

Hey!

**It's true!**

No it's not! Cucumbums was an accident! I won't do the same to Orlando Bloom!

**Okay, wait a sec. Since when did we move on to the subject of Orlando Bloom?**

Nooooo. Orlando Bloom is the name of the hamster.

**You named your hamster after a human actor?**

I like Orlando.


	23. Sub: Orlando

_Hey._

_This one is kinda different. It's in Jacobs POV, reading an email from Bella...  
It's really weird cuz Bella has gone on hol._

**Polly-Night-Cullen**

* * *

| reply | forward | delete | mark as sparkle mail |

To: Jacob_TheGreat

From: BellaTheCooliestVampireEverWhoHasSeventeenCupsOfCoffeeEveryMorning-InsertSmileyFaceHere-

Subject: Orlando

Jake,

I hope you are looking after Orlando while I'm visiting my cousin Eeyore and all his friends in the land of A Hundred Acre Wood. Are you cleaning out his hamster wheel? Are you feeding him? Have you taught him how to say Mama yet? I hope you're keeping him happy Jacob Black! And thanks for all that you doing for me and Orlando. Cya soon…

B

P.S Don't worry I'll remember to tell Rabbit how much you adore him and if you can have his autograph.


	24. Re: Orlando

* * *

The Reply from Jacob to Bella, read in Bella's POV xx

**POLLY XXZZXXZZ**

* * *

| reply | forward | delete | mark as dog mail |

To: BellaTheCooliestVampireEverWhoHasSeventeenCupsOfCoffeeEveryMorning-InsertSmileyFaceHere-

From: Jacob_TheGreat

Subject: Re. Orlando

Bells,

Thanks! Remember to tell him I decorated my room about him. But he seriously is a role model of mine. I mean, what other talking rabbit puts that much dedication into planting carrots and lettuce and veg. He's amazing. Much better than Winnie The Poo. I mean, who names their child Poo? And who cares about his jar of honey and all that other bollocks? No-one!

Jake.

P.S Yes, I am taking care of Orlando.


	25. Re: Re: Orlando

_Okay, I guess its a bit random but oh well.... :D_

* * *

| reply | forward | delete | mark as sparkle mail |

To: Jacob_TheGreat

From: BellaTheCooliestVampireEverWhoHasSeventeenCupsOfCoffeeEveryMorning-InsertSmileyFaceHere-

Subject: Re. Re. Orlando

Jake,

I think it's spelt Winnie The Pooh. Not Winnie The Poo. And besides, Pooh is a nice guy. He gave me a jar of honey as a welcoming present. I think he fancies Rose though. He told me to give her this 'Hello Beautiful' card. It's lavender scented and everything!

B


	26. Blood Pouch

OME!!! Chapter 26 and I still havn't done the disclaimer yet!

_Disclaimer: I do NOT own Stephenie Meyer's awsome, vamp-tastic, Twilight world. I'm just creating mini chapters about the characters!!! :)_

**POLLY X3**

_

* * *

_

Edward? What is that?

**Blood pouch with a straw stuck through it.**

_I can see that. But why?_

**Well, as you know, Bella has gone to visit her cousin Eeyore for the week.**

_NO WAY!_

**Yes way. Where do you think she's been these last four days?!**

_Oh. I thought she was hiding from me._

**Why would she be hiding from you?**

_Cause I threatened to take her on a shopping spree._

**Oh. But anywho, I took the-**

_Anywho?_

**Yes. Anywho. Now stop interrupting. I took the liberty of making these blood pouches for Bella in case she gets hungry. I mean, we don't want her eating Winnie The Pooh now do we?**

_I guess not._

**But there was one left over so I thought I could try one. You know, they're surprisingly delicious.**

_Mmm Uh._

**What?**

[Alice snatches blood pouch labelled 'Blood Juice – Surprisingly Delish' and runs away]

**Alice! ALICE! GIVE IT BACK! NOOO! MY BLOOD JUICE! MY BLOOD JUICE!**


	27. Is It True!

Hey guys.  
Back to the e-mail theme... sorry... LOL

**Love From Me xx (POLLY :D)**

* * *

| reply | forward | delete | mark as run away from alice or she'll make you go shopping mail |

To: BellaTheCooliestVampireEverWhoHasSeventeenCupsOfCoffeeEveryMorning-InsertSmileyFaceHere-  
From: ShopaholicAlly  
Subject: Is it true?

Bella!

Edward just told me! Is it true you've gone to visit your cousin Eeyore?! You HAVE to get me piglet's autograph! You HAVE to! Please! I'm begging! I'm down on my new designer jeans knees! PLEASE!

Lots Of Love  
Alice.


	28. Hello

_xxx :D_

_love pollyyyy_

* * *

| reply | forward | delete | mark as eddie-poo mail |

To: BellaTheCooliestVampireEverWhoHasSeventeenCupsOfCoffeeEveryMorning-InsertSmileyFaceHere-

From: Eddiepoo-The-Fairy-Princess

Subject: Hello.

Bella,

Hello Bella. How is Eeyore? Is everything going good? Does Rabbit mind that you're a vampire? I know he can tend to be a little melodramatic. Do you like the Blood Juice? I tried one and personally I think they taste amazing. I hope you're enjoying yourself. Have you gone up to see Owl yet? Or is it today you're seeing him?

Edward

P.S I'm still annoyed I let you talk me into letting you create my e-mail name. Eddy-Poo? The fairy princess? Really Bella?


	29. Re: Hello

Hey Guys x

My best freind only just joined us fellow FanFic followers and I'd really appreiciate it if after you've read the chapter if you could visit her profile.  
AND THANKS TO ink-stained-sleves, xxXILoveEdwardCullenXxx, and VampWolfGirl for being loyal readers.

Oh, but my best freind's pename is.... Buttercup.x  
But you might have to go onto my favourite authors to get to her cuz when i searched her she didnt show up.  
THANKS FOR ALL UR HELP GUYS! LUV U X

**Polly xxxxxxxxxx**

_p.s i am no longer know by Polly-Night-Cullen. I am now................  
P o l l y C u l l e n . L o v e s . F a n g  
(delete the spaces in between, its onlii cuz this stupid thing aint working!!! ARG!)_

once i change it to that..... LOL XXX

* * *

| reply | forward | delete | mark as caffine mail |

To: Eddiepoo-The-Fairy-Princess

From: BellaTheCooliestVampireEverWhoHasSeventeenCupsOfCoffeeEveryMorning-InsertSmileyFaceHere-

Subject: Re. Hello.

Eddie,

I'm fine. Eeyore's fine. Rabbit's fine. Everyone's fine. I'm having a great time. Me and Tigger have become the best of friends. We have so much in common! Apart from the fact that he has fur and a tail, and that I have venom teeth and sparkle. But seriously, we both are extremely hyper, we both like jumping up and down, we both have a cup of anything caffeine in the morning, and we both like picking on Rabbit! Tomorrow we're going to go visit Owl, and then Peter Robbin. They all say he's a really nice guy. See you on Tuesday when I get back! Love you!

Bella.

P.S I like your e-mail. It makes you sound manly.


	30. Tuesday

Hey, you know in my last chapter I said to visit my freind's profile...  
Well, she had to be stubborn and go and change it to I z z i e C u l l e n . m y s p a r k l i n g v a m p i r e (without the spaces - the thing isn't working - AGAIN)  
Only joking, (about the being stubborn bit) I love her really.

**Lots Of Humble Love, **_**P o l l y C u l l e n . L o v e s . F a n g**  
-p.s you try writing my name in a chapter with the full stops! It doesn't work! UGH! Stupid thing!  
im now depressed._

* * *

Tuesday  
_Alice, _**Edward, **Bella

* * *

_Bella! Bella! You're back!_

Hey Alice!

_OME I missed you so much!_

**Alice, you didn't even realise she was gone until like, three days ago!**

_Edward? What are you talking about? Of-course I knew she was gone! What kind of a BVF do you think I am?_

**BVF? Isn't is BFF?**

_Please Edward, Best Friends Forever is so old. Now it's Best Vamps Forever._

**Riiiiight.**

Hello?! Guys! Just got back from visit! In need of attention here!

**Sorry Bella. Glad to have you back.**

Thank you. Glad to _be_ back.


	31. Wax Daily

_**Hey Guys**_

**_sorry had 4 homework peices due in the next day so i didnt publish a ch yesterday.  
g2g and get some zzzzz's luv u lots x kisses all the way x_**

**_love from me x_**

-sigh- I love you Mike.

Jasper! I need to talk to yo-

Shhh!

Jasper?

Bella. Would you mind if you GO AWAY. I'm having some quality time with my new best friend.

Well, where is he?

Who?

Buff-man. Your best friend. Remember? He beat you at chess.

Buff-man? Seriously Bella. He's stuffed. How could he be my best friend?

But you were having a go at us for saying he was stuffed.

No I wasn't. I'm not an idiot Bella. I know when someone is stuffed when I see them. Besides, I've moved onto bigger things than Buff-man. Better friends.

Please tell me this time they can actually walk and talk.

Bella how stupid do you think I am? Do you seriously think I'd make friends with a stuffed toy again?

Phew! I was starting to get worried tha- Wait. Please don't tell me that your best friend is in this room right now.

Of-course he is. 

Oh Jasper! You can't be your own best friend!

Bella! Don't be ridiculous! I'm not best friends with myself! That is far too immature for someone with my level of intellectual.

Well then who _is_ your best friend?

Bella. Meet… Mike. Mike the mirror.

Oh no…

He's perfect for me. I mean I can gaze through his gorgeous, glossy eyes, into my reflection all day… How great is that?!

Not really that great!

GASP! How could you say that? I mean, who _wouldn't_ want to look at my hair for 26 hours?

Twent- YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING INTO THAT MIRROR FOR TWENTY SIX HOURS!?!?

Yes. And why would that be so surprising?

Because you hair is so- Never mind.

Don't worry. I get that to. I mean, my hair is just too great for words.

_**Ugh! Please don't tell me you still haven't told him yet Bella!**_

I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Tell me what?

Nothing. Don't worry. I don't want to make you feel bad.

Bad about what?

_**Bella came to tell you that everyone thinks-**_

That Bella needs to start exfoliating? Don't worry, I already know. I was the first one to know. In fact I was the one who told everybody.

You did what?!

You need to start exfoliating. And now I come to think of it, your hair is really greasy. And you've got way too many hairs on your legs. Don't you wax daily like me? Jeesh. What idiot doesn't wax daily. Oh yeah, apparently Bella.

THAT'S IT! JASPER! YOUR HAIR IS STUPID! THAT'S WHAT I CAME TO TELL YOU! YOU'RE HAIR IS REDICULOUS!

You mean, ridiculously AWSOME.

NO! I MEAN REDICULOUS! REDICULOUSLY STUPID AND UGLY!

Bella, stop trying to make me feel bad. I know that my hair is amazing. And no-one is going to make me change my mind. Besides, me and Mike were made for each other. We belong together. It's our destiny.

UGH!

* * *


	32. CaFfEiNe Xx

_Big shoutout 2 my bezzie on and off fanfic, Izzie!  
Luv u lots! xxxxKisses_

**Love from....... PoLlY tHe CoOlIeSt GuRl EvEr XX  
lol xx**

_

* * *

_

Bella, _Alice_

* * *

Alice.

_NO! I'm not getting sucked into one of your evil plans to conquer America with robot bunny rabbits!_

No no no! I'm saving that for next year! Gosh!

_Phew._

But anywho-

_Anywho?_

Wow, that's scary. The longer I'm around Edward, I think I'm starting to pick up some of his vocabulary.

_Vocabulary? Wow. I guess you're right. The old Bella probably didn't even know the word vocabulary existed…_

But anywho- WAY! ANYWAY! But anyway, would you like to try some… CaFfEiNe?

_What sort of caffeine?_

ALL TYPES OF CaFfEiNe!

_Well… Maybe just a little bit…_


	33. Ohmygosh

_Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
Sh*t! I think I've lost my maximum ride book! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
NOT GOOD! Sh*t!_

**Luv u x Polly x**

* * *

| reply | forward | delete | mark as ally mail |

To: The-Emotion-Dude-With-Great-Hair  
From: ShopaholicAlly  
Subject: Ohmygosh!

Jazz,

HEY!! HEY!! AHH!! HIYA!! Ohmygosh! I'm ontop of America! Literally! AHHHHH! Breathe Alice! Breathe. Deep breathes. Wait, I don't need to breathe, I'm a vampire. Gosh Alice! AHH! I'M A VAMPIRE! YEAH! WHOO! Calm Alice! Okay... So anyway hey Jazz. I'm on the plane to Scotland! I'm staying at the Mickey Mouse Club House. Y'know, the one with Minnie Mouse and the talking duck called Ronald. I'M SO EXCITED!

Alice. :)


	34. Re Ohmygosh

_No worries, found Maximum Ride. It was in my dance bag.... lol x  
Omg, i went to a sleepover at the weekend and we took loads of silly pics of ourselves, as u would at sleepovers... AND THEY GOT ON FACEBOOK! AHHHHHHH!  
It was so embarrassing! Lol x But luckily, my ones weren't as embarrassing as other peoples. And there was one of me in my fave dress xxx :)_

_**Love always to anyone who'll accept it....  
Polly xxxxxxxxxxx  
x**_

* * *

| reply | forward | delete | mark as jazz mail |

To: ShopaholicAlly  
From: The-Emotion-Dude-With-Great-Hair

Subject: Re. Ohmygosh

Alice,

The duck is called Donald. Not Ronald. Y'know! Donald Duck! Wait a minuite… Bella gave you some of her secret stash of caffeine didn't she? She did! Alice! You know better than to get involved with someone like Bella! She's dangerous for your health! You could of got killed! But anyway, The Mickey Mouse Club House is in America. Not Scotland. You must of got on the wrong plane… I'm ever so sorry Alice. But you can come back and maybe go to the Mickey Mouse Club House next month. Oh and er... Can you get me a keychain from the airport? I've always wanted to go to Scotland!!! Thanks! All my love!

Jasper.

P.S Look on the bright side, I've still got my great hair.


	35. Movie Night!

Hey peeps x

Got to go quick, going Musical Thetre, BYE BYE!  
LUV U ALL LOTS!

Polly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xx

**_

* * *

_****_Rosalie,_Emmett, Edward,** Bella, _Esme_

* * *

**MOVIE NIGHT! MOVIE NIGHT! C'MON GUYS! HURRY!**

[CRASH]

Number 7.

**I know, I can't believe he's already broken SEVEN of Esme's vases. All in the last month and a half. Stupid boy…**

_Emmett, PLEASE don't tell me that wasn't my FAVOURITE vase with the blue drawings. That thing is priceless._

**Urm… It isn't your favourite vase that smashed on the floor?**

_Phew. For a minute there I—Emmett! You said it wasn't my favourite vase! That IS my favourite vase!_

**I know. But you told me not to tell you it was your favour—**

_Okay, okay. Just. Go sit down where you can't break anything or anyone._

Emmett, Emmett, Emmett. Silly, silly boy.

**AWWW! Your so sweet! I LOVE YOU TOO!**

Riiiiiight…

**So anyway. MOVIE NIGHT EVERYONE! NOW! GET DOWN HERE! MOVIE NIGHT! MOVIE NIGHT!**

_**Ugh! Please Emmett!**_

**You know, it's a shame that Alice and Jasper just happen to go dancing on the same night as movie night. And why on EARTH did Carlisle take the extra long shift at the hospital? I mean why would he want to work late on movie night? Who DOESN'T love MOVIE NIGHT?! An idiot! That's who! Oh well. They'll be missing all the fun… GUYS! GET IN HERE! SIT DOWN! YOU DON'T WANT ME TO CARRY YOU IN HERE DO YOU?!**

Here!

**Here!**

_Me too!_

**ROSALIE! Do you want to watch the film or not?!**

_**Not!**_

**Do I have to carry you in here?!**

_**Lay a hand on me unless for sexual reasons, and I will have to whack your too cute head out of it's socket.**_

**Nice. Save it for behind closed doors…**

**LOVE YOU TOO! SEE YOU WHEN THE MOVIES OVER!**

No fair! How come she gets out of watching the movie?!

**SHHH! IT'S STARTING! WE'RE WATCHING… WAIT FOR IT…**

**Yeah, can't wait…**

**TITANIC!**

UGH! (Bella **Edward** and _Esme_ said in unison)


	36. That's My Emmett

_Ow... I had my Cervical Cancer Jab today... (if your a boy you can read on if you want 'cause you probably won't find this at all interesting and you'll start to cry of bordem)  
It wasn't actually as bad as I thought it was gunna be, and I thought it was gunna be the slightest pinch, then a lot of bruising after 24 hrs... lol x  
__And I was absolutely fine but now, like I predicted, it's really aching :(  
My friends had it done aswell, and one of them had a fit (not a stroppy fit, like you do when you get worked up and worried), and loads of us, including me, went home.  
Then again, I only went home 'cause I have bad reactions to jabs so I went home as a 'just in case'. Lol x  
If any of you girls out there had you cervical cancer jab and want to tell me which of your friends (or you, lol) puked or fainted. Or screamed the school / doctors down.  
It was quite scary though 'cause when it was about to be my turn, the girl before me who was, like, WAY older than me, started screaming and crying so I got a bit worried.  
(Not to say that because you're older you should be able to handle the pain and the nerves better, but I was just sayin')_

_Love you lots guys (and gals, lol x you know what I mean...), your aching armed bezzie, Polly._

_P.S im sitting here, taking AGES, typing with my right hand only 'cause my left arm hurts from the jab. lol x im such a doornob... (a doornob like Emmett as you'll find out in the chapter :D)_

* * *

Bella, **Edward, Emmett,_ Rosalie_**

* * *

Later on that night… When everyone had crept silently out of the room to avoid movie night with Emmett, Emmett was still sitting there staring at the TV, watching… Titanic.

**-sniff- -gasp- -sniff- -sob- -wail- No! No! NO! You can't leave him Rose! Go back for Jack! GO BACK FOR HIM! AHHHH! SH*T THAT WAS SCARY! I THOUGHT SHE WAS GUNNA FALL! Rose jumped from the life boat back onto the ship! Phew. She didn't leave Jack… Eww… They're kissing… WAY TO GO JACK! WHOO!**

(whispering from the doorway) Ha! He's still crying. I thought he had ran out of tears when they handcuffed Jack to the pole.

**(still whispering from the doorway) I know. He's a real pussy when it comes to sad films and chick flicks. He cried at Angus Thongs And Perfect Snogging!**

(yes, still whispering from the doorway) Oh my gosh?! How could he cry at Angus Thongs And Perfect Snogging? There's nothing sad enough to cry about in that film!

**(you guessed, yes, still whispering from the doorway) I know. He's such a doornob...**

(I know, you guessed, yes, still whispering from the doorway) He's such a baby.

**(half crying, half shouting) NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! ROSE YOU DICKHEAD! UGH!**

_[a big CRASH and SMASH as something made of china breaks when Emmett throws it at a wall]_

(Yep, I know, you guess, yes, still whispering from the doorway) Ooooo. Getting a tad aggressive…

**YOU WEREN'T MENT TO LET GO! BITCH! THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT! "Oh, you won't let go will ya Rose?" "Oooo! I'm Rose! I won't let go Jack!" BUT NOOOOO! YOU BLOODY WELL DO LET GO DON'T YA! UGH! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE IDIOT! YOU'VE MADE ME CRY SO HARD MY MASCARA'S RUN EVERYWHERE! BLOODY HELL! AND Y'KNOW WHAT?! I'M GLAD THE FILM'S OVER! 'CAUSE NOW THAT MEANS I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT YOUR FACE ANYMORE! SO YEAH! TAKE THAT! Ooo! Take That are singing in the credits.**

(I GET IT! I KNOW! Still whispering.) Scram! He's gunna sing!

**You liiiiiight! The skiiiieeeeesssssss! Up above meeeeee!  
****A staaar! So briiiiiiiiiiiight! You blind meeee! Yeeaaahhh, Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
****Don't cloooose! Your eyesss! Don't fade awaaaay! Don't fade awaaaaaaaaaay!  
****OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!**

_**SHUT UP EMMETT! I'M DOING—WAS DOING MY NAILS! UNTIL YOUR HORRIBLE SINGING SCARED ME AND MADE ME SMUDGE ALL THE VARNISH EVERYWHERE!**_

**Sorry dear!**

_**NOT YET YOU'RE NOT!**_

_[stomp stomp stomp as Rosalie, yes, stomped, down the stairs]_

**Huh? What does that mea—AHHHH! NO! THAT HURTS! OWWW! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!**

_**What do you say?**_

**OW OW! YOU'RE AMAZING AND I AM NOT WORTHY TO STAND IN YOUR PRESENCE! OWWWWW!**

_**And?**_

**YOU'RE NEW BOOTS LOOK SEXY! OWWWW! PLEASE! THAT HURTS! HAVE MERCY ON ME, A POOR, LAZY, DOORNOB! OWWWWWW!**

_**That's my Emmett.**_

**Yeah 'cause that's how you're s'pposed to treat you're loved one...**

_**I know. I've trained him well.**_


	37. Brrrr! Ma! Ma!

_Hey people,_

_It might be a while before I post my next chapter because I've been too busy because of the following reasons:  
a) I've been VERY BUSY reading A LOT of Maximum Ride  
b) My science and maths teachers are scaring me about an upcoming test  
c) I've been going on FanFic instead of HW so I need to catch up on it (the HW)  
d) I've been staying late most days after school for rehearsals for my school's drama production, and we have to rehearse on some sundays  
e) My arm has been hurting, and swollen from the CCJab  
And third) I'm quite lazy and I havn't had time to write the next chapter.... :( sorry..._

_LOVE POLLY XXX_

_catch up with you soon xx_

**

* * *

Edward, **Bella, Random Gay French / Italian / Russian / German / Dude With Weird Accent And Beret Drama Teacher

**I mean, I'd be brilliant for the part.**

Shhhh! You two! Edward 1 and Edward 2! Shut up!

**There's only one of me Bella.**

I mean stop talking to yourself!

**Oooo! Pushy!**

EDWARD CULLEN YOU SHUT UP OR SO HELP ME I WILL TIE YOU TO A CHAIR, WAX YOUR HEAD UNTIL IT'S SHINY BALD, AND READ YOU EMMETT'S VERSION OF LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD!

(clap, clap, clap) (clap). Bravo! 'Zuch passion! 'Zuch strong words! 'Zuch a beautiful face! You! You are brilliant! You! 'Vot is your name?

**Aww. That's so sweet. I'm Edward Cullen. Thanks so much for taking notice, I mean, all I said was one little line. Want me to say it again? Okay! One second, just need to get into character… This will just take one moment. Brrrr! Ma! Ma! Ma—**

Not you, you bumbling, idiotic fool. You, with 'ze beautiful hair and 'ze amber eyes. You are amazing!

Thank you! I'm Bella Cullen.

Ugh! You have 'ze same surname az' 'im. Please do not tell me you are actually a _related_ to 'zat nincompoop of a boy!

**Hey! I'm not a nincompoop! I'm beautiful! I'm beautiful I tell you!**

Uh huh, sure you are.

No, no, no. We're married.

Ugh! Even worse! But no matter, no matter. Your divine looks make up for you idiotic mistake…

**Hey! I will not stand here and be insulted like that!**

'Zen grab a chair. 'Cuz 'zere iz no 'vay, no 'vay I say! No 'vay! You are going to get to 'vear 'zis fabulous, 'vun ov a kind, stylish hat!

**Since when did we start talking about your hat?**

Since I said so! So zip it and 'zit down before I ban you from 'ze drama production. I can do 'zat you know! If I really 'vunted to, I could ban you from everyzink drama related! I could! If you pushed me I 'vud!

**Sure you would…**

I 'vud!

Okay urm, Edward, just grab a seat and stay quiet.

**Whatever.**

Okay class! 'Velcome to 'ze drama auditionz' for 'ze Shakespear play, Macbeth! Aren't you so excited! I know! 'Zis is fabulous.

Oh I hope I get to be Lady Macduff! I love Macbeth!

**Yeah, whatever.**


End file.
